Back in the Saddle

I got on the bike for the first time since August. This is a big deal considering the whole being "bucked off the horse" sort of thing that transpired this summer.

I spent my summer training for the big New Mexico Bicycling Championships road race. I even took off work so we could drive the 11 hour journey down to Albuquerque for the big race. Race morning, my bike didn't work. The cranks were all jacked. I was devastated. The next few months were spent in and out of the bike shop as the gang tried to figure out the problem. As I type, the bike sits in the garage, still not working properly. I have given up. At this point, they all think it is me, since I am the only one who seems to have problems with the gears freezing up and/or refusing to shift. I don't want to ride it anymore. Apparently, I do not know how to shift.

So today, I rode the bike in the basement. I had just gotten done running a 5k on the treadmill and didn't feel done. I may not be back on the real horse yet, but at least I am on the merry-go-round horse once again. Baby steps.

James went skiing today. He was upset that I did not want to go. When things do not go according to Plan James, the world turns upside down. He is back from skiing and is making his homemade spaghetti sauce in complete silence. Silence that screams his point loudly. James' world has always been so self-focused. It is the hardest thing about being in a relationship with him. He has had very little experience with compromise, empathy, sacrifice. He wants me in the car with him as he runs errands, not considering I may have other things to do. He wants me to stay  up late, not considering my body might be so wiped that all I really want is sleep. He wants, he wants, he wants, I have a million examples. Whatever, he will eventually break his vigil to silence and life will be normal again.

In the meantime, I will savor the silence.